What I’ve learnt in 10 years as a dating and relationship coach

Three weeks earlier I had moved into a cushy, little flat for my first year of university. In the adjoining bedrooms were five comely females. Six more resided in the flat above and another six in the flat below. Yet here I was, hunched over my keyboard in a dimly lit room, frustrated to breaking point that despite my self-confessed fun and stimulating personality, I couldn’t attract this potential harem, let alone any other women at the university.

That evening back in October 2003 marked the beginning of an epic journey of research, discovery and perseverance. One of the first resources I found on that initial research session was a dating product called Double Your Dating, written by a now acquaintance of mine. Along with discovering other people on the internet with similar frustrations, it opened my eyes to the possibility of change. What followed were years of fervent practice, verging on an obsession. I was determined to learn without compromise how to master topics such as female psychology, social dynamics, attraction, seduction and relationships.

It was approximately three years before I was properly teaching others the intricacies of what I now call proactive dating and fulfilling relationships, but I still credit that lonely evening ten years ago as my starting point.

Here are some of the most important lessons I have learnt in ten years as a dating and relationship coach… Read more

Setting boundaries in a relationship

If I had to break down all relationship issues to one single factor, it would be boundaries being disregarded. From trivial arguments to gross acts of unfaithfulness, it is the absence of clearly understood boundaries that is to blame.

Boundaries in the context of a relationship refer to the points at which acceptable behaviour crosses over into unacceptable behaviour. These points can and should be different for every relationship, based on the individuals involved. One thing that does not differ though is a positive correlation between boundaries being respected and how mutually fulfilling a relationship is. Read more

The power of using nicknames

When it comes to dating and relationships, nicknames are a severely underrated and underused concept. Coming up with fitting nicknames is not going to make or break a relationship, but it can definitely help in creating a deeper sense of familiarity and connection.

Sometimes a nickname will spontaneously arise. If not, most people default to calling their partners and romantic interests by their actual name, or with something generic and unimaginative such as “babe”.

There is nothing inherently wrong with the above, but by using a generic name you neglect an easy opportunity to create a special connection and set yourself apart from everyone else in that person’s life. Read more

There is no such thing as the perfect partner… or is there?

At the start of every dating seminar I speak at, I ask the attendees what their ultimate goal is with regards to dating and relationships.

By far the most common answer is to end up with “the one”… that one special person that matches all of their core values and surpasses everything else they look for in a romantic partner.

Whilst this is a lovely ideal in theory, how do you know when you have definitely found the right person? If you journey through relationships sequentially like the majority of people do, how do you know that there isn’t someone better suited to you out there each time?

This article will discuss whether there is indeed one special person for everyone, as well as provide some food for thought on how to know exactly what you are looking for in the world of love… Read more

How to approach and meet a celebrity – The night I met Emma Watson

The following encounter happened some time ago now but it is one that is repeatedly requested that I retell. Previously, the only real life interaction I have written about was the story of when I first met my wonderful girlfriend Heidi (which you can read HERE). That story proved to be very popular so I thought I would share another true story that also has a unique angle and some interesting lessons to pick up on.

Read on for the story of how I approached and chatted to a rather famous celebrity, and how it went from miraculously well to unsalvageable in one swift swoop… Read more