How likely your partner is to cheat – part 2
This article is a follow-up to the article How likely your partner is to cheat – part 1 and consists of a unique cascading diagram that determines how likely someone is to cheat in a relationship. Without further ado I present to you the diagram, followed by some brief explanations of some of the key features…
The diagram below should be read from top to bottom as a series of steps, in descending order of importance:
Quality of relationship:
This is the first and most important step in the diagram. If someone is in a completely fulfilling relationship, or anything close to that ideal then they are unlikely to even contemplate being with anyone else, let alone actually taking steps towards it.
A completely fulfilling relationship is one that consummates all physical and emotional desires. If that is true, by definition, cheating will not occur.
If the relationship is anything below this ultimate level then the next step in the diagram comes into play…
Disposition towards cheating:
This step refers to the person in question’s personal views regarding cheating. It will largely be governed by their social experience so far in life and also their experience gained from previous relationships. It also relates to their moral upbringing regarding cheating and any personal realisations made along the way.
Someone who has a strict view towards infidelity – as modern society attempts to teach us – will never cheat on their partner, even if deep down they physically or emotionally want to. Anyone who has a more relaxed view regarding cheating, and who isn’t heavily influenced by modern culture, or simply doesn’t think about or concern themselves with infidelity much will pass through to the final step in the diagram…
Social scenarios:
The final step in the diagram is for the people who have passed through the previous two steps. This step refers to the social scenarios that the person in question finds themselves in, or to put it differently, how much opportunity someone has to cheat!
If someone has a fairly solitary or close-knit social life then they are unlikely to meet someone new who can lead them through new phases of attraction and seduction.
If their social life is more promiscuous and lavish then the chances of them meeting someone with the ability to do that will increase greatly. With this latter situation, it’s only a matter of time before someone “better” or more suited comes along. Coupled with their less than strict attitude towards cheating from the previous step, they are likely to cheat in such a situation.
This concludes the two-part series on how likely your partner is to cheat. Please feel free to ask any questions or add any opinions. 🙂
Much love,
Samuel
Been checking back every day for this lol! The diagram and your reply to my message the other day have really cleared up all my questions about this so thanks. Must have taken you ages to draw that but its really awesome. nice work! Do you mind if I send it to a couple of mates think they might find it useful lol? Off to a halloween party now happy halloween to you!!
Hey, thanks a lot and you’re welcome regarding my reply to your message. 🙂
Yes feel free to send it to whoever you like… If you click on ‘e-mail this post’ at the end of the article it will set it all up for you and you will just have to enter the e-mail addresses of the people you want to send it to.
Hope you had a frightening Halloween! 🙂
Sam
Just dropped in off your twitter to say that this is excellant. Check your @folder and youll see I RT it
Thanks a lot and thanks for the re-tweet also. 🙂
Wow the diagram is great, especially as it has confirmed that my relationship is ‘completely fulfilling’ and therefore neither of us our likely to cheat : ) Thank you for posting!
Just one thing, in the explanation for the ‘dispostition towards cheating’ section of the diagram you say that someone with strict views about infidelity will never cheat on their partner. I don’t think this is true in all circumstances, in fact I know of someone who cheated on their partner but their view was definitely that cheating is bad!
Eva : ) x x x
Hi Eva,
Thanks a lot for your praise and that’s great that your relationship falls into that category!
I appreciate the example you give regarding one’s disposition towards cheating but even if someone routinely proclaims a strict view towards cheating, I will still often quietly question the sincerity of their views. Someone thinking ‘cheating is bad’ doesn’t necessarily mean that they would never cheat given the right (and currently unknown to them) circumstances. In fact, from all the cheating couples I’ve worked with or know of, the unfaithful partner generally accepts that what they are doing is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. It is the other circumstances highlighted in the diagram, along with seeing no easy alternative, which causes them to still be unfaithful.
Thanks for your comment, 🙂
Sam
I love the diagram. It really makes sense when you think about it. Everyone fits somewhere on those and the diagrams accurately portray it. You did a great job tackling a complicated topic.
Thanks a lot Elena! 🙂
My gf has cheated on her ex before.
My gf has many people approaching her and loves social
My gf is not fully satisfied with her relationship because she thinks i ‘m too controlling
It seems i have no way
please advice~
Hi,
The advice is fairly straightforward… Simply work on solving the three areas you have highlighted, in reverse order. There is lots of advice on this website alone that will help you to achieve this. You definitely want to try and implement a positive attitude towards your relationship as soon as possible rather than a self-defeating one.
Take whatever steps you can towards being the best boyfriend you can be, being less controlling and making your relationship as mutually fulfilling as possible.
The other two points should solve themselves from there. If you can successfully repair the areas that you feel are limiting your relationship, you will gradually start to become more confident and less fearful about your girlfriend’s intentions.
Thanks for reading,
Sam